Roger,Dodger《震撼性教育（2002）》完整中英文对照剧本
震撼性教育 现在的问题
对于我们作为一个物种的 What"s happening right now is important only in the context... 不断进化是至关重要的 of our continuing evolution as a species. 罗杰
我只是说
我妹妹应该学会如何看懂地图 Roger, all I"m saying is that I wish my sister would learn to read a subway map. 你这么说
就是完全忽视了
功能性 By saying that, you disregard the primary importance... 在人类关系中的重要意义 of utility in human relationships. 我们的能力...男人能看懂地图的能力... Our ability... Men"s ability to read maps... 能掌握方向
使我们有用 to navigate, makes us useful. 你根本就应该阻止你妹妹
去看地图 You should discourage your sister from even looking at a map. 你是说我们女人
拥有低等的方向感吗? Are you saying that we women have an inferior sense of direction? 不要四处看
乔伊丝
哪里是北? Which way is north,Joyce, without looking around? 什么? What? 你听懂了
哪里是北? 快点
北 You heard me. Point north. Quick. North. 快点
北
北 Quick. North. 北
北... North. North. -正确
-他说得对吗? -You"re right. -Is he right? -他说对了
-非常利害 -He"s right. -Very impressive. 纵观人类的历史... As she has throughout history... 女性总是青睐最具有能力的男性 the female responds to the male who displays the most utility. 通过磨练
这些使我有用的能力... By honing those skills which make me useful... 我推迟了受女性冷落的期限 I stave off my inevitable obsolescence. 你呆在家里
磨练你操作录像机的能力? You stay home honing your ability to program a VCR? 我的录像机停在 12 点
已经三年了 My VCR"s been flashing 12:00 for three years. 还有什么
罗杰? What else, Roger? 哦
开手动档车
提重物 Oh, driving a standard shift. Lifting heavy things. -模仿摇滚歌♥星
-对
对 -Air guitar. -Yes, yes. 笑吧
笑吧 Go ahead and chuckle, okay? 但是除非女人进化到
拥有隔空传物的能力... But until women evolve the ability to move objects telepathically... 她们会的... and they will... 体力仍旧是
一项很重要的能力 physical strength remains a primary utility. 那为蛮力干杯吧 Here"s to brute strength then. 罗杰
你忘记了
一项男性非常重要的能力 Roger, you"re forgetting a very important male utility. 是什么? 烤肉? What"s that? Barbecuing? 性 Sex. 对
我要一个男人
不是只会操作我的录像机 Yeah. I want a guy to do more than just program my VCR. 我可以操作你的录像机
宝贝儿
保证让你爽到极点 Oh, I"ll program your VCR, baby, like you never had it. 那可是高难度
你行吗? It"s a top-loader. You think you can handle that? 有意思的是
一群英国科学家... Interestingly, a group of scientists in England... 刚刚声明他们希望
不用精♥子♥细胞... just announced their intention to fertilize an egg... 而使卵子受精 without the use of sperm cells. 我不明白 I don"t understand that. 人体的每一个细胞
都有一套完整的基因组 Every cell in the human body contains a copy of the genome pattern. 精♥子♥细胞独揽大权的
唯一原因是因为迄今为止... The only reason sperm cells have all the fun is that up until now... 只有它们拥有渠道 they were the only ones with access. 在克里斯多夫的有生之年里
人工受精... Within Christopher"s lifetime, artificial insemination... 将使精♥子♥象底特律
的装配工人一样毫无用处 will render sperm as useless as an assembly line worker in Detroit. 好在我的会计师
早就给我的精♥子♥保了险(公♥司♥最高福利) Luckily, my accountant set up a golden parachute for my sperm years ago. 如果它们减少的话(双关语
公♥司♥裁员) In case they were downsized. 提醒你一下
罗杰
要知道我们女人... Just so you know, Roger, you know that we women... 因为我们喜欢才做♥爱♥ make love because we like it. -而不是仅仅为了繁殖
-对 -Not just to procreate. -Yes. -但是男人是必须的吗? -这我可不知道 -But are men absolutely necessary? -I don"t know that. 想像一下女性生殖器的构造 Think of the structure of the female genitalia. 等等
等等
好
想起来了 Wait. Wait. Okay, got it. 阴♥道♥最敏感的部分是哪里? What is the most sensitive part of the vagina? -我不敢相信我们开始谈这个了
-我想你很清楚
多诺万 -I can"t believe we"ve gotten into this. -I think you know this, Donovan. 是阴蒂
1559 年由雷纳多斯·哥伦布首先发现 It"s the clitoris, first discovered by Renaldus Columbus in 1559. 他还以为那是印度(是克里斯多弗·哥伦布发现新大♥陆♥) He thought it was lndia. 哦
不! 不! Oh, no! No! 阴蒂的顶端
包含 8000 条神经纤维 The crown of the clitoris contains 8,000 nerve fibers. 这比男性身体的
任何一部分都要密集... It"s a far great concentration than in any part of the male body... 包括我们的手指尖 even our fingertips. 这是大自然设计的... It is the most efficient, pleasure-delivery system... 最高效的快♥感♥接收器 ever devised by nature. 那么
想一想... Now, ask yourself... 为什么阴蒂不长在阴♥道♥里... why didn"t the clitoris end up inside the vagina... 性♥交♥将使女性感到... so that intercourse would be naturally... 自然的
强烈的
持续的快♥感♥? compellingly, constantly pleasurable for a woman? -我知道
-好
梅纳德小姐 -I know the answer. -Yes, Ms. Maynard. 因为在原始时代
女性死于生育 Because in primitive time, women died of childbirth. 所以如果性♥交♥太舒适了... So for intercourse to be too pleasurable... 从进化论的观点是不合理的 wouldn"t make sense from a Darwinian standpoint. -我佩服的五体投地
-完全正确 -I"m impressed. -Absolutely right. -这说明什么? -进化保护我们女性? -What does that tell us? -Evolution is looking out for us girls? -正确
-对女性来说... -Exactly. -That for women... 性♥交♥和性♥欲♥满足从来不是一回事 intercourse and sexual fulfillment were never intended to intersect. 新技术只是证明了这一点 New technology just makes it official. 未来的女性
将进化出... "阴蒂
大阴蒂"... Future generations of women will evolve clitorises... "clitori, clitorati"... "巨阴蒂" "Clitorissimo." 它们会更大
更长
更敏感 that are larger, longer, even more sensitive. 而女性的性能力
以及她们自♥慰♥的愿望... And a woman"s ability, as well as her desire to self-stimulate... 将会无限地增长... will increase exponentially... 因为性♥交♥已经
被剥夺了繁殖的用途 as intercourse is robbed of its procreative utility. -我糊涂了而且很吃惊
-这很正常 -I"m confused and frightened. -You should be. 物种不是静止的
我们处在不断的变化之中 The species is not static. We"re in a constant state of flux. 两性分别只有一个原因 Two genders has been the default setting for one reason only: 迄今为止这是
唯一繁衍种族的方法 So far it"s been the only way to propagate the race. 什么物种是只有一个性别的... Is there any species that just has one gender... 没有雌/雄? that doesn"t have male & female? 海星 Starfish, for one. 下次看到海星
我会叫它去干自己 Next time I see a starfish, I"m gonna tell him to go fuck himself. 行了
你觉得挺幽默的 Come on. You love it. 不
我们不觉得 No, we don"t. 那我们的未来是什么? So where are we headed? 平等? 平等是什么东西? Equality? Equality, what is that? 这是自然规律吗? Is that a principle of nature? 我们都坐在一起看地图 We all sit around reading subway maps together. 不
当然不是
物竞天择 No. Of course not. Natural selection. 这才是自然规律 Now that is a principle of nature. 自然选择
一方要输掉
一方要被打败... Selection. Something has to lose. Something has to be defeated... 另一方才会被选择 in order for something else to be selected. 那么
这说明什么? So, what does this mean? 我们必须一辈子给乔伊丝卖♥♥命 We have to take orders fromJoyce for the rest of lives. 说对了
我喜欢 That"s right. I like that. 这说明 10 到 15 代以后... It means that 10 or 15 generations from now... 男人将会沦为奴隶 men will be reduced to servitude. 新科技和进化论联合起来... Technology and evolution will have combined... 将精♥子♥从繁殖过程中赶走... to exclude sperm from procreation... 而我们最终的命运
就是抬抬沙发... and our final destiny will be to lift couches... 等到空间传送战胜重力的那一天... and wait for that day when telepathy overcomes gravity... 我们性别仅存的最后用途
也永远的消失了 and our gender"s last remaining utility is lost forever. 永远 Forever. 噢
我的天
罗杰 Oh, my God, Roger. -我? 我理解了
-我的发言到此结束 -What? I"m done. -Then I rest my case. 谢谢你们 Thank you. 爱你们
听众们 Love you people. 对
这里就行了 Yeah, this is good. -上帝! -是我 -Jesus! -No, just me. 你是怎么进来的? How did you get in here? -你从哪里弄到钥匙的? -用你的配了一副 -Where did you get those? -Copied them from yours. -什么时候? -上礼拜你叫我去买♥♥面包的时候 -When? -Last week when you sent me for bagels. 把钥匙给我 Give them to me. 经常开门放我进来
你不觉得烦吗? Aren"t you tired of constantly having to buzz me in here? 看看你的逻辑
每周一次怎么就变成"经常"了? See how your brain works? How does once a week turn into "constantly"? 事实上
上礼拜是两次
有一次
我记得是
周五... Actually, last week was two times, including, I believe, Friday... 你把我从香喷喷的睡梦中叫醒
要求使用我的肉体 when you woke me out of a dead, pleasant sleep and demanded the use of my body. -你可以说不
-什么? 你开玩笑吗? -You could have said no. -What? Are you kidding me? 那是行动的号♥角 That was a call to action. 我象一个消防队员
30 秒种就穿好了衣服 I dressed in 30 seconds like a volunteer fireman. 我都乐疯了 I was insane... 你应该少说点听我说
我想和你谈谈 You should stop talking and listen to me. I got something to say to you. 哦
是吗? Oh, yeah? -甜言蜜语我存货多多
乔伊丝
-我知道 -Words are my stock-in-trade,Joyce. -I know. 洪水滔滔可关不上闸门 You can"t just stop up the floodgate. -放下
-怎么了? -Put that down. -What? -我们应该停止了
-停止什么? -We need to stop this. -Stop what? 上帝
我喜欢看你
在浴室里的样子 God, I love watching you in the bathroom. 你就象一个大战后的勇士
抹去脸上的油彩 You"re like an athlete after the game, scraping off the war paint. 我是说我们应该停止幽会了 I meant, we need to stop seeing each other. 哦
是吗? Oh, really? 这事是个糟糕的主意 This whole thing was a bad idea. 往常我有不错的判断力
但这次
都抛到九霄云外了 Generally, I have good judgment, but this time, right out the window. 整件事是个绝妙的主意
没有人知道 This whole thing is a great idea. Nobody knows about us. 我们大家一起出去
我坐在那儿... We all go out, I sit there and... 然后
几个小时以后... you know, a few hours later... 我知道我会变成偷香的卖♥♥油郎 I know I"m going to be the traveling salesman... 而你会变成思春的怨妇 and you"re going to be the lonely housewife. 我要你成熟地对待这件事
别冲动 I need you to be an adult about this. No scenes. 乔伊丝
我是你的情人
我是你的纯种马 Joyce, I am your boy. I"m your thoroughbred. 成熟
明白吗? Adult. Understand? 别管那钥匙了
好吗? 你留着它吧... Forget about the keys, okay? Just keep the keys with... 今夜是我们的最后一夜
就让我们好好享受吧 Tonight is our last night, so let"s make it a good one. 告别的晚餐从来都不好吃 Good-bye sex is never good. 下礼拜我们又会要吃
"重逢"的晚餐了... Next week, we"ll have "get back together" sex... -我能在这儿过夜吗? -罗杰
不行 -Can I stay the night? -Roger, no. 好的 Right. 嗨
来一杯马帝尼酒
和一杯加冰的威士忌
谢谢 Hi. Can I have a Cosmo and a Maker"s Mark on the rocks? Thanks. -我们谈谈
-对不起
我和朋友一起来的 -Let"s have a talk. -I"m sorry. I"m with some people. 我猜猜看 Let me guess. 你新到公♥司♥不久 You"re relatively new at the company. 也许你从什么地方搬到纽约
从一个小地方 Maybe you moved to New York from somewhere else. Somewhere friendly. 一开始
你独身一人
其乐融融 First you took pride in being alone. 想在大城市里闯出一番天地 Wanna make a name for yourself in the big city. 时光荏冉
你开始希望找个朋友 After a while, you started thinking how it might be nice to meet somebody. 冬天快来了
有时候你觉得孤单 Winter"s not far off, and it gets lonely sometimes. 好吧
然后呢? Okay. And? 然后你开始暗恋上你的老板... And so you develop a crush on your supervisor... 虽然别的女同事都告诉你... even though the other women in the office tell you... "离他远点
他招惹不得" "Keep clear. He"s bad news." -为什么他招惹不得? -因为他是个花♥花♥公♥子♥ -Why is he bad news? -Because he"s a player. 他是个搜集猎物的家伙 He"s a guy who collects trophies. 每一个在那里工作的女人
最后都跟他上了床 Every woman who takes a job there ends up in bed with him. 如果你屈从于诱惑... And if you give in to temptation... 你将成为办公室里黄色笑话的主角 you"ll end up the punch line to a sordid joke by the water cooler. 我说得如何? Am I hot or cold? -故事编得不错
-老套的故事 -It"s a good story. -It"s a cliche. 你除了断章取义还会干什么? So what do you do when you"re not reducing the world? 断章取义有什么不好? 去芜存精发现事物的本质? What"s wrong with reduction, boiling things down to their essence? 看清事情的真♥相♥... 有什么不好? What"s wrong with... seeing what"s really going on? 那事情的真♥相♥是什么? 你的重大发现是什么? And what"s really going on? What"s the big revelation? 我为什么要告诉你? Why should I tell you? 告诉你也
不会改变任何事 Telling you isn"t going to change anything. 比如
我可以告诉你
你自己所谓的个性 For instance, I could tell you that what you think of as your personality... 不过是一堆虚荣的想像的杂烩 is nothing but a collection of Vanity Fairarticles. 我可以告诉你
今晚你选择的上♥床♥对象... I could tell you your choice of sexual partners this evening... 早就由扬雅集团公♥司♥的某个财务主管决定了 was decided months ago by some account executive at Young & Rubicam. 我还可以告诉你
通过研究你的父亲... I could tell you that given a week to study your father... 以及他对你的放任自流... and the ways in which he ignores you... 我可以说出一套精彩的故事
你无法否认
完全不能 I could come up with a schtick you"d be helpless to resist. Helpless. 我都可以告诉你
不过对你有什么用? I could tell you all that, but what would you do with the information? 真的有女人吃你这套吗? Are there women who fall for this stuff? 我说的只是我看到的真♥相♥ I"m telling the truth as I see it. 你想和你老板睡觉? 关我屁事 You wanna go fuck your boss? What business is it of mine. 他不是白马王子
只不过穿得人模狗样 He"s not Daddy. He"s just a guy in a suit. 你非要品尝那伤心的... You feel compelled to contribute to the pathetic... 可悲的宿命的苦果
随你的便... heartbreaking predictability of it all, by all means... -你在等人吗? -对
我的未婚夫 -You waiting for someone? -Yeah, my fiance. -嘿
祝贺你
-谢谢 -Hey, congratulations. -Thanks. 好吧
值得庆贺 All right. Congratulations. 他是个好人吗? 你的未婚夫 Is he a kind man, your fiance? 他尊重你吗? Does he treat you with respect? 虽然这不关你什么事
不过
是的
他很好 Not that it"s any of your business, but, yes, he does. -那你一定很担忧
-为什么会让我担忧? -That must make you nervous. -Why would that make me nervous? 噢
别装了 Oh, come on. 时间不多了
让我们来分♥析♥一下 Look at the time. Let"s do the math together. 你在说什么? What are you talking about? 我猜猜看
缺乏自尊... Let me guess, low self-esteem... 以及更年期的...焦虑
使你有过不少... and premenopausal... concern led you to pursue a series of... 半自虐式的恋爱? semiabusive relationships? 但是最近的心理治疗
让你意识到... But a recent dose of therapy has convinced you... 内在美
才是真正的美... that inner-beauty is what really matters, and... 只有尊重你的
完美情人才配得上你 you really deserve that perfect partner who treats you with such respect. 你想让我叫保安来吗? Do you want me to call the bartender? 除非你是个白♥痴♥...我觉得你不是... Unless you"re an idiot... which I don"t think you are... 除非你是个
低级的
肮脏的泼妇... unless you"re some kind of pathetic, self-help junkie... 你我都清楚
总有一天你的男人会一早醒来... you and I know your guy"s gonna wake up one morning, and... 环顾四周
终于意识到你有多老... he"s gonna look around, figure out how old you are... 看清楚你的真面目
那时候他就会... and what you"re really like, and that"s the day he"s gonna go out... 出门去买♥♥烟
然后再也不回来了 for a pack of smokes and never come back. 到那时候...哎
你好 By that time... How you doing? 如果她还意识不到会发生什么
我真♥他♥妈♥为她痛心 If she doesn"t see what"s coming, I fucking weep for her. -我能效劳吗? -嗨
不用
我很好 -Can I help you, sir? -Hey. No, thanks. I"m good. 我说了
"能为您效劳吗? " I said, "Can I help you, sir?" -那一个去哪儿了? 那个... -他在家里睡觉 -Where"s that other guy? The... -He"s home sleeping. 我有很重要的事
要立刻见乔伊丝·梅纳德... Okay. Well, it"s very important that I see Joyce Maynard right away, so... 好的
我明白
我会给她留言的 Okay. I understand. Why don"t I just leave her a note? 我必须亲自见她
这很重要 It"s important that I see her in person. 听着
这行不通
所以... That"s not gonna work, so why don"t I... 我给你叫辆出租车
你回家好好睡一觉
好吗? call you a cab and you go home and sleep it off? 你自己为什么不他妈的回家? Why don"t you go fucking home? 好吧
我看你有误解 Okay. You know what? We don"t understand each other. 我是她情人
我是她情人
明白吗? 你是谁? 你是谁? I"m her boy. I"m her boy, okay? Who are you? Who are you? 如果你不马上离开这里
我要叫警♥察♥了! I am the man who"s gonna call the police if you don"t get out of my lobby! 罗杰
是我
苏姗
今天是周四
我希望你打电♥话♥... Roger, it"s Susan. It"s Thursday, and I want you to call... -罗杰
接二线
-是谁? -Roger, pick up line two. -Who is it? -是有关新方案的
-什么新方案? 给个名字 -It"s regarding the newcampaign. -Which new campaign? Get a name, please. -是苏姗
-告诉她我出去了 -It"s Susan. -Tell her I"m out. -她说很重要... -告诉她我出去了 -Shesays it"s important... -Tell her I"m out. 嗯
这个
有点阴沉
好象在说"什么玩意儿? " Yeah. This is, like, surly. That"s like, "What is that?" -而这个
有点儿... -你希望阴沉点? -And this is, like... -You want surly? -这个象 90 年代的邻家男孩
-我就是 -This is like "90s, adorable normal guy. -I am that. -那是你的问题
-你不爽吗? -That"s your problem. -That"s your nightmare. 嗨
罗杰特
今晚你去乔伊丝那儿吗? Hey, Roget. You going to Joyce"s tonight? 什么? What? -你没收到电子邮件吗? -什么邮件? -Didn"t you get the E-mail? -What E-mail? 晚上的聚会? About the party? 你去吗? You going? 乔伊丝要开聚会
我什么都不问
肯定出现 Joyce throws a party, I don"t ask questions. I just show up. 她在接一个很重要的电♥话♥ She"s on a conference call. 特德
有人
到我的办公室来了 Ted, there"s someone in my office. -再见
特德
-没事
堂娜
出去吧... -Bye, Ted. -It"s okay, Donna, you can... -再见
堂娜
-过五分钟我给你打回去 -Bye, Donna. -I"ll call you back in five minutes. "五分钟"
五分钟能解决问题吗? "Five minutes"? This is a five-minute situation? 坐下 Sit down. 我不想坐下
我想站着 I don"t wish to sit down. I wish to stand. 昨天晚上
你想闯进我的公♥寓♥? Did you try to get into my building last night? 为什么今天晚上没邀请我? 大家都会去除了我 Why am I not invited tonight? Everyone will be there except me. 别人会怎么想? What is that going to look like? -让我们重新拉开一点距离
-我不想 -Let"s reestablish some boundaries. -Let"s not. 我是你的老板
你为我工作 I"m your boss. You work for me. 你的文案写得很好 You write very good copy. 可是有很多人在等着这份工作
象你一样的人 But I have a hundred resumes on my files for guysjust like you. 但是那些人能干我♥干♥的那些事吗? But do those guys do that thing that I do? 让你欲♥仙♥欲♥死♥? The thing that you like? 我已经跟你解释过
我不想再和你交往了 I have explained to you that I do not wish to see you socially any longer. 面对现实吧 Find a way to deal with it. 那是什么意思? ? What"s that supposed to do? 尼克? Nick? 罗杰舅舅
你好 Uncle Roger. How"s it going? 你来这里干什么? What are you doing here? 什么? 哦
我来看看你工作的地方 What? Oh. I wanted to see where you work. -哦
不
你来"这里"干什么? -什么? -Yes. No. What are you doing here? -What? -你是说"这里"纽约? -对 -You mean here in New York here? -Yes. 我到哥伦比亚大学面试
妈妈说让我来看看你 I had an interview at Columbia, so Mom said I should look you up. -坐下
-好 -Sit down. -Okay. 怪不得她一直给我打电♥话♥ That"s what all the phone calls were about. -电♥话♥? -对
你妈妈没完没了地打电♥话♥ -The phone calls? -Yeah. Your mom"s been calling me. -你和她聊了? -我们在冷战 -Did you speak to her? -We"re playing phone tag. 她说你可以给我
展示一下你的工作 She said you could show me what you do here. 她说了? She did? 这里真的没有什么可看的
尼克 Well, there"s not a whole lot to show you, Nick. 真的? 比如
你每天都干什么? Really? Like, what do you do all day? 我每天都干什么? What do I do all day? 我坐在这里
想办法让别人感到沮丧 I sit here and think of ways to make people feel bad. -我还以为你策划广♥告♥
-没错... -I thought you wrote for commercials. -I do... 但是不先让人感到沮丧
你就什么也卖♥♥不出去 but you can"t sell a product without first making people feel bad. 为什么? Why not? 因为这是一种角色替代的游戏 Because it"s a substitution game. 你必须提醒他们
他们的生活有所缺憾 You have to remind them that they"re missing something from their lives. 每个人都会有所缺憾
对吗? Everyone"s missing something, right? -嗯
可能是吧
-相信我 -Well, yeah. I guess. -Trust me. 当他们开始感到不满足的时候... And when they"re feeling sufficiently incomplete... 你再说服他们你的产品
是唯一可以填补空白的东西 you convince them that your product is the only thing that can fill the void. 然后
他们不再
着手解决他们生活中的问题... So, instead of taking steps to deal with their lives... 不再追根究底
寻找他们不幸的根源... instead ofworking to root out the real reason for their misery... 而是冲出去
买♥♥上一条滑稽的工装裤 they run out and buy a stupid-looking pair of cargo pants. -那... 好玩吗? -有时候 -So... is it fun? -It can be. 我其实正要收工了 Look, I actually was about to call it a day. 没关系
我们可以出去吃点东西 That"s cool. We can go get something to eat. -好吧
我们走吧
-太棒了 -Fine. Let"s get out of here. -Great. 你刚才吓了我一跳
我还以为你得了嗜睡症 You gave me a scare. I thought you were having a narcoleptic episode. -什么? 什么时候? -在办公室的时候 -What? When? -Back at the office, you know? 那是入定
能使我平静
谢谢 That"s standing meditation. It calms me down. Thanks. 你为什么要平静? 你是个小伙子
谢谢 Why should you calm down? You"re a teenager. Thank you. 我紧张的时候
脑子里一团浆糊 My brain gets all sloppy when I"m stressed... 所以入定能够
帮我集中精神消除杂念 so the meditation helps me focus and block out the bad stuff. -杂念? -比如恐惧和痛苦什么的 -Bad stuff? -Like fear and pain, you know? 我想像一个蓝色的三角
那就是我 It"s a visualization. I picture a blue triangle, and that"s me. 我把所有杂念放在
三角外的红色♥区♥域里
很有效 I put all the other stuffoutside the triangle in a red field. It works. 你家里人怎么样? So, how"s your folks? -他们离婚了
-什么? -They got divorced. -What? 对
我爸爸搬出去了 Yeah. My dad moved out. -你开玩笑吧
什么时候的事情? -有一阵子了 -You"re kidding. When did this happen? -A while ago. 自从奶奶的葬礼以后
我就没见过你 I haven"t seen you since Grandma"s funeral. -天
尼克
我很难过出了这种事
-没什么大不了的 -Jesus, Nick. I"m sorry to hear that. -It"s no big deal. 我还跟我爸爸聊天
他有时候从路上打电♥话♥过来 I still talk to my dad. He calls from the road. 你妈妈怎么样? How"s your mom doing? 她挺好 She"s fine. You know. -奇怪她怎么没跟你一起来
-可能她怕亲自见你... -Surprised she didn"t come with you. -Maybe she was afraid to see you... 自从葬礼上出了那事以后 after what happened at the funeral. 那是因为
你爷爷是个头号♥大混♥蛋♥ That happened because your grandfather"s a king-size prick. 明白吗? All right? 你的面试是什么时候? So when"s your interview? -是今天
-进行得如何? -It was today. -How"d it go? 还行吧
我来面试只是因为妈妈想叫我来 Fine, I guess. I did the interviews "cause Mom wants me to. -你对大学没兴趣? -我为什么要一直去学校... -You"re not interested in college? -Why keep going to school... 而我想知道的东西
我都可以自己摸索? when anything I need to find out about I can look up myself? 爸爸没上大学
他象我这么大的时候已经周游世界了 Dad didn"t go to college. By the time he was my age, he was on the road. -一切都满意吗? -一流
谢谢 -How is everything here? -First-rate. Thanks. 但是...大学的好处是
你和人相处的时间很多 But... the good thing about college is you get to hang out a lot. -对社交能力会有帮助
-对 -It"s good for the social skills. -Yeah. 我妈妈说你是个
那种...有女人缘的人 So... my mom says you"re kind of, you know, like a ladies" man. -她这么说的? -不过她是当一件坏事说的 -She said that? -But she says it like it"s a bad thing. 这象她说的 That sounds like her. -是真的吗? -你呢? 有女朋友了? -Is it true? -What about you? You have a girlfriend? 没有
我是说
暂时还没有 No. I mean, you know, not yet. 你看
我越来越大了
有很多东西我希望我... Look. I"m getting older, and there"s a lot of stuffthat I wish I could... 有很多东西我还没有...有一些事情我需要... There"s a lot of stuffthat I haven"t... There"s certain things I need to... 对
我记得你
说你可以自己摸索 Yeah. I thought you said you could look that stuff up. 不
这不一样 No. I mean, not this. 你不明白
我需要一个知道该说什么的人... You don"t understand. I need someone who knows what to say... 我在开玩笑
尼克
那就是上大学的原因 I"m kidding you, Nick. That"s what college is for. 你找一个需要家教的体育生
他帮你找妞儿 You find some football player who needs tutoring, and he helps you get girls. -你不懂
-我懂
我也有过 16 岁
好吗? -You don"t get it. -I get it. I was 1 6 once, all right? 你打算干什么
如果不去上大学? What are you going to do if you don"t go to college? 设计软件
可能设计模拟类游戏 Design software. Maybe work on simulation games. 哦
对了
你是个电脑狂
那能挣什么钱 That"s right. You"re the computer whiz. There is money in that. 我已经开始挣钱了
帮别人装系统 I already make money setting up systems for people. 我还在帮爷爷的研究项目编写网页 I"m working on a web page for Granddad for his research. 什么? 那老头儿? 他真的舍得花钱了? What, the old man? He"s actually spending money? 对
还不少呢 Yeah, good money too. 他很搞笑
总是冲着
电脑嚷嚷好象它是个人一样 It"s funny, "cause he yells at his computer like it"s a person. 他总是说
"这婊♥子♥吞了我的文件" He"s always going, "That bitch ate my file." -或者"她还挺难哄的"
-你经常去那儿? -Or, "She"s playing hard to get." -You spend a lot of time there? 对
最近一段时间 Yeah, nowadays. 放学后我过去
然后他再过来和我们一起吃晚饭 I go over after school, and he comes over and eats dinner with us. 等等
他跟你和苏姗一起吃饭? Wait a minute. He eats dinner with you and Susan? 当然
自从奶奶死后
就没有人照顾他了 Sure. Since Grandma died, there"s no one taking care of him. 就算他们分家以后
她还是每天过去做饭 Even after they split up, she went over every day to cook dinner. 一天不拉
她是个疯子 I mean, every single day. She was nuts. 对
她是个疯子 Yeah, she was nuts. 那
尼克 So, Nick. 你在泡妞儿方面需要帮助? You need some help with the ladies? 好吧
我们开始吧
听清楚了 All right. Here we go. Get this straight. 性无处不在
明白吗? 它包围着我们 Sex is everywhere, okay? It is all around us. 它不是什么遥不可及的梦想
它不是喜马拉雅山 It"s not some distant destination. It"s not Everest. 它就在身边
你必须调整自己去迎合它 It is right here. You have to attune yourselfto it. 你必须与它保持一致 You have to bring yourself into alignment. 你必须找到关键
尼克
懂吗? You have to find the zone, Nick. Okay? 这么做
我保证
一个新世界将向你敞开 Do that, and I promise you a whole world will open up. 看看我
我四处走动
每个细胞都在感受信♥号♥♥ Look at me. I walk around in a state of total receptivity. -我就象一个他妈的避雷针
-好
没问题
我该怎么做? -I"m like a fucking lightning rod. -All right. Fine. What do I do? 首先
让我们扔掉什么入定
你的那个蓝三角 For starters, let"s get rid of that little meditation. The blue triangle. 我们不封闭自己
尼古拉斯
我们接受它们 We don"t block things out, Nicholas. We let them in. 接受什么? Let what in? 这个城市里有几百万的女人 There are millions of women in this city. 几百万
幸好她们绝大多数
都不清楚有无数的方式... Millions. Most of them are blessedly unaware of the countless ways... 可以使她们的
身体暴露在我们的眼前 in which their bodies are exposed to our eyes. 所以
首先
学会确定太阳的方位 So, first, learn to read the sun, where it sits. 你会注意到... 逆光和透明的微妙联♥系♥ You"ll notice... correlation between backlighting and transparency. 她们穿浅色的衣服
内衣就显露无遗 They wear light-colored clothing, underwear shows right through. 胸罩带
吊带袜
用不着伸头探脑的 Bra straps, panty lines. No need to stretch or squint. 它就在那儿等着我们
明白吗? 比如... It is there for us, okay? For example... 怎么了? What? 你想象个民工一样
暴露我是吗? Are you blowing my cover like some construction worker? -不
我只是... -用用脑子 -No. I wasjust... -Use your head. 退后
让她过去
懂吗? 等几秒种 Step back. Let her pass. Okay? Give it a few seconds. 看着
然后伪装你的行动
注意 Watch this, and then camouflage the move. Pay attention. 看表是个不错的选择
或者传呼机 Checking of the watch is good. Or of the pager. 或者找路牌
假装你迷路了 Or looking for a street sign like you"re lost. 或者象我一样结合起来
不管怎么样
别被发现 You saw me do a combination. Whatever it is, don"t get caught. 你认为女人们知道
怎么回事吗? Do you think women have a clue what goes on up here? 她们以为什么
在看股市行情
油钻大小? What do they think, it"s just stock quotes, drill bit sizes? 她们什么都不知道! 就让她们这么想 They don"t know shit! Let"s keep it that way. -好的
-看
你眼睛怎么样? -All right. -Watch. What about your eyes? -什么? 眼睛? -你的眼睛
你的视力如何? -What? My eyes? -Your eyes. How"s your vision? -哦
很好
五点二
-好
余光视力呢? -No, it"s good. It"s 20-20. -Okay. Peripheral? -我不知道
还行吧
-还行是不够的 -I don"t know. It"s fine, I guess. -Fine"s not gonna cut it. 你需要锻炼眼部肌肉
就好象为奥♥运♥会特训一样 You gotta work your muscles like you"re training for the fucking Olympics. -好
-上
下
左
右
如此这般 -Yeah. -Up, down, left, right, et cetera. -来
跟着我的手指
-好的 -Here. Follow my finger. -Okay. -看不见了告诉我
-好的 -Tell me when it"s gone. -All right. -好
停
-就这样? -Okay. Stop. -That"s it? 你需要 100 度
起码 150 度的视野... You need a hundred, a hundred and ten degrees... 上街才差不多 before you"re ready for the street. 在白天我能看到背后 I see behind me on a good day. -你玩电子游戏? -当然 -You play video games? -Sure. 不错
那东西能锻炼眼睛 Good. That stuff is training for the eyes. 瞬间视觉记忆 Registering images in a split second. 非常珍贵的锻炼机会
噢
那儿
那儿 It"s invaluable. Oh. Right there. 蓝上衣
蓝上衣
中间
蓝上衣
蓝上衣 Blue sweater. Blue sweater. Median. Blue sweater. Blue sweater. 那个少女刚刚...而你错过了 That young ladyjust... And you missed it. -我知道
-只有几毫秒 -I know. -In just a fraction of a second. 就这么短
但是一双
训练有素的眼睛就可以抓住机会 That"s all. But a trained eye can get in there for a look. 你必须学会
预测机会的来临
懂吗? You have to learn to anticipate your opportunities, okay? 钻出出租车
地铁飘来的风... Getting out of a cab, wind from a subway grate... 或者象你可悲地错过的那个
弯腰捡东西 or as you so sadly missed there, bending over to pick something up. 这些情况下
需要闪电般的反应 These are situations which require lightning reflexes. -我能做得到
-你现在慢了一拍
尼克 -I tell you, I can do that. -Your a step slow right now, Nick. 嘿
也不奇怪
我记得那时候什么样 Hey, no wonder. I remember what it"s like out there. 不敢眉来眼去
不敢出头露脸 No interaction. No face time. 看看我
每天我都
掌握着大街
地铁
取款机... Look at me. Every day I have the street, the subway, the ATM line... 办公室
健身房♥... the office, the gym, the... 你那里有什么? What have you got? 年轻人坐在车里 Young people sitting in cars in Ohio. 红绿灯下渴望的眼神 Wistful glances at the stoplight. 不
我去学校
那是与人交往 No, I go to school. That"s interaction. 好吧
我们就练这个 Okay. Let"s work with that. 高中教学楼是四层
如果没记错的话 The high school building is four stories, if memory serves. -现在是五层了
-无所谓 -It"s five stories now. -Whatever. 是多层建筑
所以有楼梯
我们可以利用它 It"s multistory, and that means stairs, which is good. 把自己从水平面的禁锢中解放出来
过来 Free yourselffrom the tyranny of eye level. Come here. 利用角度
高处看乳♥沟♥ Use the angles. High for cleavage. -低处看裙子
-好 -Low for the skirts. -All right. 记住
使用一些花招
帮忙没有什么可耻的
对吗? Remember, there"s no shame in calling on an old standby, right? 弄掉一根铅笔
系鞋带
只要别露馅儿 Dropping of the pencil. Tying of t...